Monday, August 30, 2010

Potato Review: Country Crock "Loaded" Mashed Potatoes

 I'm here with a quick review of Shedd's Country Crock Loaded Mashed Potatoes.
I would have taken my own picture but I threw the tub away before thinking about it. Read the review after the jump.

Shedd's Country Crock is perhaps most well known for its "Shedd's Spread" butter-like food product. Basically it is a congealed off white product that you can spread on bread and other food items while you close your eyes and pretend that it's butter. The fake butter comes in brown tubs into which the product has been squirted while still in a gelatinous form.


Anyways, I did not realize that Shedd's made anything other than fake butter spreads. So when I saw a package of Shedd's Country Crock Loaded Mashed Potatoes at Safeway, I was taken by a surprise. It wasn't until I was in my car on the way home until the realization hit me - "What the hell did I just buy?"

Upon opening the tub (it came in a similar tub to the butter stuff) I found what appeared to be already mashed potatoes with bacon crumbles and chives. Sounds good enough. So I heated it up as per the instructions and took a bite- 

 

It is hard to describe the taste. But I can try. It basically tasted like very, very salty and dry oatmeal mixed with with chives couple of potato chunks thrown in there somewhere. And something was seriously wrong with the bacon. So I checked the Country Crock website and sure enough, the product contains:
"Mashed potatoes with sour cream, bacon artificially flavored, and chives "
Artificially flavored bacon. What. The. Hell.

Needless to say, I was not impressed. Nay, I couldn't even finish the whole tub. I started feeling sick about a third of the way through. So I did what I normally do with bad food and fed the rest of the tub to my neighbor's dog.

Wait a minute that's not a dog that's a turtle!

As far as health goes, this stuff ain't dieting material. Head over to the Country Crock website for the full nutrition facts.

Potato Rating:

PROS: 
REQUIRED NO EFFORT TO MAKE - WAS COMPLETELY PREPROCESSED READY TO EAT
(is that really a pro?)

CONS: 
GAVE ME FECAL URGENCY
BACON TASTED LIKE SALTY, BURNT SQUIRREL MEAT

CONCLUSION:
I suppose there are worse things out there. Honestly, without the horrible artifical bacon (or with - gasp - real bacon) this would have been much more edible, perhaps even moderately tasty.
My verdict is 2/5 potatoes.

2/5 Potatoes

note: I didn't actually feed this to my neighbor's dog, and I didn't actually attempt to eat the entire tub

5 comments:

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